Confess

For those Schadenfreude moments

On Fixes and f….kability

Hello, my name is Jane, I am a Parisaddict and it’s been 390 days since my last fix.

Sixty days spent exploring her history, her majesty, her grandeur will do that. Inhaling the spicy aromas of her fresh food markets; kicking autumn leaves in the Jardin du Luxembourg; weighing the opulent tassels in Palace Opera; the ebullience of a Jewish choir; the thrill of Nuit Blanche 6pm to 6am artistic treasure hunt; falling briefly yet enduringly in love with an exceptionally tall, gorgeous black man (a whole other story – you’ll need to read the book)….all the while adorned in nothing more than a slash of red lipstick, jeans and T, leather jacket and ballet flats…my attempt at being a ‘Parisian’.

Hence the thrill of unwrapping ‘How to be a Parisian Wherever You Are’,*a fun take on what it really means to be a Parisian in the 21st century. A perfect Xmas fix, a barrel full of giggles and it appears that I might have had ‘the look’ down pat, yet barely scratched the surface. Here’s an extract:

Aphorisms:
‘To be read out loud every night before going to bed. Even when inebriated’:

  • Don’t be afraid of aging. As the saying goes, don’t be afraid of anything but fear itself.
  • Find ‘your’ perfume before you turn thirty. Wear it for the next thirty years.
  • If you own only one sweater, make sure it’s cashmere.
  • Wear a black bra under a white shirt, like two notes on a sheet of music.
  • One must live with the opposite sex, not against them. Except when making love.
  • Be unfaithful: cheat on your perfume, but only on cold days.
  • Go to the theatre, to museums and concerts as often as possible: it gives you a healthy glow.
  • Not too much makeup, too many colors, too many accessories.
  • Be your own knight in shining armour.
  • Always be fuckable: when standing in line at the bakery on a Sunday morning, buying Champagne in the middle of the night or even picking up the kids from school. You never know.
  • Fashion rules the world and Parisians rule fashion. Fine it may not be true. But the world still needs fairy tales.

Now I have the complete formula – just need the ticket!

Elliott Erwitt, Honfluer, France, 1967

IMG_8601*‘How to be a Parisian Wherever You Are‘; Sophie Mas, Audrey Diwan, Caroline de Maigret, Anne Beresy; 2014; Ebury Press – Random House AU

**Fo darling – you know me so well – thank you

Slider image by Elliott Erwitt, Honfluer, France, 1967

 

The mighty annual bakeoff…

Or…how a MixMaster may have saved my life…

The mighty annual office bakeoff. Competition fierce…always has been, always will be and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Hashtag game on!

Oh yes! While I’m busy Googling ‘re-purpose’ options for my batch of timer traumatized chocolate brownies, they in their frilly aprons with matching china bowls and candy stripe cupcake papers will be comparing the fruits of their labours to their Donna Hays with smug smiles of satisfaction.

Uh huh! The fabulous five (my gorgeous colleagues), between moving house, dance, gym, soccer runs and end of year school mayhem, still somehow find the time to knock up exquisitely presented, scrumptious fare that would make Adriano Zumbo blanche. Oh the pressure!

Time to put ’em in their place I mutter while wiping the sticky (but glossy) meringue massacre splatter of my new attempt off the kitchen walls. With what’s left in the bowl I will impress. Oh yes I will. After I dissolve this glob attached to my brow. And pour a large wine. And Google a substitute for white vinegar. I want my Mom.

Here’s the result. And the recipe. And you will need a BIG bowl. For the mix not your wine. And probably one of those MixMasters my colleagues are so fond of rather than hand held beaters.

Caramel Filled Pistachio Meringues

Need:
• 4 free range egg whites
• 220g caster sugar
• 2 teaspoons corn flour
• 1 teaspoon white vinegar
• 40g pistachios, roughly chopped

• For filling – caramel in a can

Do:
• Preheat fan forced oven to 140 degrees centigrade (160c conventional/gas2-3)
• Line 3 baking sheets with baking paper
• Put egg whites in clean, grease free bowl and using stand electric mixer or electric hand held mixer, beat them until soft peaks form
• Gradually add the sugar, 1 tablespoon at a time, whisking well after each edition. Whisk until mixture is smooth and glossy
• Fold in the cornflour, vinegar and 3/4 of the pistachios
• Put mixture in piping bag with no tube (or glad bag with corner snipped off)
• Pipe small rounds onto the prepared trays, allowing a little room for expansion, and sprinkle the remaining pistachio
• Reduce oven temperature to 130c (150c conventional/gas 2) and bake for 40 minutes
• Turn off oven and leave meringues inside to cool completely
• Scoop caramel out of tin whisking briefly to soften it then use it to sandwich meringues together

Serve: 

Pile on a platter and present.



PS: After the collective outcomes were presented, Instagrammed and consumed amidst deep sighs of sugar high, the vote was in. Hard to top a magnificent raspberry stuffed brownie topped with shards of white chocolate and dried raspberries thought I, as I graciously smiled at the winner punching the air with glee. A worthy adversary that Maree. But you just wait sweet pea! I’ve 11 months to perfect a perfect comeback…now somebody buy me a goddamned MixMaster?

Who’s worth the best dinnerware?

A question for you…which dinner guest(s) would you get your best silver out for?

‘JFK jnr and Carolyn Bessette’ says Belinda McPherson (of Banjo and Matilda fame, designer of gorgeous Cashmere)
‘Johnny Depp’ according to Terry Kaljo (Hotelier)
‘Freddie Mercury’ says Connie Mitchell (Sneaky Sound System)
‘Oscar Wilde or Edie Sedgwick’ according to Paula Joye (TV personality, former Magazine editor)

An intriguing question and guaranteed to ignite stimulating conversation. Throw in ‘dead or alive’ and you’ve got yourself a dinner party conversation warranting more than a bottle or two of your best vintage…

My choice adapts according to mood…right now my list includes:

  • Grace Kelly (Style Icon – to absorb her sense of innate style and grace)
  • Will Anderson (Comedienne – for his acerbic wit, and he’s sexy, and he likes cats),
  • Serge Gainsbourg (Iconic Individualist – just to stir the melting pot),
  • David Suzuki (Environmental Activist – for his realistic take on receding Glaciers)
  • Sheldon Cooper (the character – purely for a smacking dose of ‘Sheldonisms’).

That’s six including me, I can’t fit more around my table.

But what about you?

Yeah sure you’d pull the best silverware out for your lover, partner, best friend, mother…but I’m talking ‘the’ guest or guests you’d probably feel the need to brag about afterward.

Name YOUR top five now…
20120425-165916.jpg
(more…)

1 8 9 10 11 12 23

close

Enjoy this blog? Please share the love...