Confess

For those Schadenfreude moments

In honour…

Been thinking about what this day means for us all as we commemorate the fallen today, my mind drifting back to the time my travel buddy and I visited the war fields in France in 2013. I wrote about that day in honour of our ANZACs in 2015. The memory still tears at my heart. Here’s my story:

I hadn’t wanted to come. It was bone chillingly cold, drizzle fell from burgeoning grey skies and a biting wind whipped mercilessly at my inadequate jeans and jacket. Feet, wet and cold, were screaming chilblains, a dread I’d endured during long NZ winters, and I’d used my last tissue on a streaming red nose.

Bloody marvellous! A fine way to start a holiday in France I muttered as I wandered across the lush manicured lawns striated with row upon row of headstones.

Many of the headstones bore names, still more were marked ‘Unknown Soldier’. The 1918 battlefields at Villers-Bretonneux. An imposing Memorial commemorating nearly 11,000 Australians who died in France but have no known grave, formidable against bleak skies. I ran frozen fingers across the names etched into chilled marble. Andrew, Horatio, James, Clive, so many innocents.

Eric Hill from Boston, MA, USA - Poppies in the Sunset on Lake Geneva Uploaded by PDTillmanFrom there to Pozières, then the Thiepval ‘Memorial to the Missing’ honouring over 72,000 British and South African men, followed by Beaumont-Hamel and the Newfoundland Memorial Park where zig zag trenches can still be seen almost a century on. In the distance, the yellow rapeseed covered tracts of land soldiers had been fighting relentlessly to retain. A weak sun caressed my icy cheeks as I took stock of the surrounds. So peaceful. Once so bloodied.

Meandering through the trenches behind our guide as she described the unimaginable conditions the soldiers experienced there –  the stench of the dead atop, dysentery, lack of food, fresh water or shelter, month upon month exposed to extreme weather conditions, from searing sun to death rattle snow – I struggled to remain composed. Choking on a crust of humble pie will do that. Wet feet and a sniffle indeed.

Each site respectfully tended regardless of nationality interred, the Germans distinguished by grey crosses within a quiet field of their own. They too were just young men sent into the same bloody battles. All of them heartbreakingly young; seeing, experiencing and succumbing to horrors we can’t begin to imagine. But you probably know that anyway, a part of our ANZAC history…a raw, gut wrenching sacrifice of human life. Today, 100 years on, we honour that sacrifice.

(Image – Eric Hill from Boston, MA, USA – Poppies in the Sunset on Lake Geneva)

 

Blanc ‘n Spanx 

You’re gonna be blogging about “Dîner en Blanc” right? Asked my fellow revellers. ‘Natch!’ said I between sipping bubbles, savouring our Hors d’oeuvres and quelling potential table envy. ‘Oh look! They’ve umbrellas dripping with fairy lights! How plump are those oysters? I want a pair of those fabulous wings! How sharp are those white Venetian masks? Row upon row of white swathed tables, their owners tweaking a flower here, rearranging  candles there, trailing fairy lights, settling in. A white linen napkin wave signalling the evening’s commencement. My god that table has an entire Eiffel Tower! Mon dieu! Je’adore!



The scene, viewed from afar, is quite spectacular. White on white enhanced by lush spotlit greenery and a city skyline backdrop bathed in the glowing warmth of a setting sun softly shrouded by a misty sprinkle making for a slightly surreal air. This year the Botanic Gardens. Sparklers optional. Ok! ok! Enough of the waxing lyrical, let’s take a look at the practicalities of this gig.


Name into a Ballot, fingers crossed, yea, accepted! Pay membership fee, entry fee for self and partner, make sure buddies are doing same at the same time, must have gang on the right bus, in the right departure location with the right leader at the right time. To where exactly? Well that’s a surprise, discovered upon actual arrival on the eve. The logistics associated with simultaneously ferrying all 3,000 participants into a sizeable venue requiring a fleet of mega buses and a strategy that positively makes my brain bleed.

But wait! Supply own table and chairs – must be white. So too table cloths, napery, picnic basket, table decorations. (Umbrellas too for the gig takes place regardless of weather) Real linens, crockery, cutlery. Plastic and paper a no-no with just one exception – glassware. Wine preordered and collected at the event. Complete package can be hired. So too extravagant picnic baskets but hey! Where’s the fun in that when several pre DeB Champers fuelled luncheons to bespoke our menu, decor and attire will do it. Now speaking about that attire!

White! Formal attire. White. Blanc. Damn the French! Yes, white can strike fear in many a heart belonging to a voluptuous body. But fear not fellow squidgy bit worriers! Spanx to the rescue. I’m talking ‘suck it in garments’ and I’m pretty sure the company itself could be sponsoring this insistence on white apparel! Department stores anticipating a heavy run on squidge corralling garments in the weeks leading up to the gig. I grabbed mine, felt like a trussed Turkey on thanksgiving but just look at that form!

Now many have asked why one would bother going to all that trouble to attend a gig where you’re paying for the privilege of bringing your own everything?

Well it’s the sheer fun of the planning, the trauma of finding the perfect white outfit, the thrill of an unknown destination. Assembling a pop up party, sharing food and wine with loved ones and table neighbours, admiring everyone else’s own ingenuity, dancing on bare grass to a cruisy band ’till your feet blister. Then dismantling and disappearing back into suburbia leaving nought but a footprint and a fond memory.

It’s about being a member of a secret, coveted fine dining flash mob that meets just once a year. Originating in Paris, now held in over 70 cities across six continents, Brisbane the first to debut the gig in Australia, Canberra and Melbourne soon following suite. Hats off to the fabulous folk who make it happen: Diner en Blanc Brisbane
Now what a clever Parisian was François Pasquier huh? A man who, over 25 years ago, simply wanted an elegant and special night with old friends. With a garden too small to entertain at home he invited them to meet at a public place, wearing white so that they could readily find each other. Thus was born Dîner en Blanc;  the anniversary of which recently attracted 15,000 guests to the event, held in its founding city.

Did you attend? Tell us about your favourite memories..

Sweet mantra ‘o mine

As most of you, my lovely readers, know  – I get myself into crazy messes, don’t seem to do things by halves, but do believe in grabbing life by the…um…’testicles’…this year an absolute classic.

My home makeover for instance. Executed by my lovely friend James who morphed my humble abode into such a creative realm, friends were left grasping for platitudes…’um, wow, er?… no wait!  I LOVE that mirrored door!’ A home with a ceiling of midnight blue, where white Picasso mistrals drift across bedroom walls of forest mulch, where voluptuous vases of pink peonies and dusky roses require 6am, puffer jacket clad Rocklea flower market forays in search of the perfect bloom. (About to be photographed by some magazine, stay tuned for images). Oh yes, this house is certainly not for the faint of heart.

So too, leaving the country for four weeks with just $4 in pocket (something to do with that interior design gig and a holiday application mix up) to indulge in a holiday  in ‘cash preferred’ corruption central Greece. The Greek islands to be exact. Where a 5 minute cab ride might cost €25 and a 25 minute ride €15. Oh yes, where tax dodge cash is king and credit cards cause consternation, an environment not one for the timid negotiator.

And then there’s the quest for romance. The search to find THE one. Where 25 date site frogs, kissed in an effort to find a ‘Prince’ has resulted in a number who remain great friends, a couple with whom I may  just have fallen a little in love;  still more where a mental ‘damn where’s my wing man when I need her’ has verbally translated to ‘Oh! Sooo sorry, must run, parking meter about to expire!’ And possibly, just possibly, a match. Oh yes, this game definitely not for the ego sensitive.

When life gets beyond sane, I remind myself of the late great Lou Reed’s words ‘She said hey babe, take a walk on the wild side’. And with that mantra, comes wonderful life lessons. An interior makeover that encouraged me to think beyond mainstream decor;  the holiday ‘credit card or nothing’ necessity that encouraged me to demand ‘ya’ want the sale or not!?’ The sweet dating match who mentally encouraged me to reconsider my 10 ‘must have’ deal breaker characteristics for the 20+ ‘nice to have’ on offer.

Lou Reed, I intend on keeping those words alive if that’s ok with you sir. So too my friends, I just know it.

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