Nurture

Food for the soul

There’s always lentils love…

Hi lovely readers, is it just me, or are you too feeling like your in some kind of weird apocalyptic limbo-land? It really hit home when a lovely stranger said to me as I stared at the empty shelves in the supermarket – ‘there’s always lentils love – nobody eats ’em?‘  

Last week: business as usual – work, future strategising with colleagues, movie night, shopping, gym, chatting with mates, dining out, sleeping.

This week: The COVID-19 paradigm shift.

Next week: business as (un)usual – home desk work, Teams video future strategising with colleagues, Netflix movie night, online shopping, YouTube yoga, FaceTiming mates, dining on Lentils (the last can standing in the supermarket), fitful sleeping.

Surrounded by media sensationalism, drowning in speculation, struggling to separate fact from fake, cognizant of an undercurrent of fear, clinging to glimmers of positivity, ruminating on what the world will look like afterward – no wonder we’re feeling anxious and stressed.

The structures that drove our time—commute schedules, work schedules, activities schedules—all disappearing as we adapt to working from home, distance our friends and find new ways to entertain ourselves and the kids. To help myself, and maybe you too, I’ve rounded up the expert’s suggestions for designing an effective schedule to alleviate some of that stress.

SLEEP

The dramatic increase in COVID-19 related news means I’m staying up later engrossed in the latest headlines, my normal commute no longer exists, my work schedule is in disarray, and that’s all derailing my sleep schedule. You too? To build an ideal sleep schedule, try this:

First, determine the time you will want to begin work, taking into account your now reduced number of morning commitments. From there, work backward. E.g. if you like to snatch 7 hours of sleep and need to wake by 6 a.m., plan to snuggle into bed by 11 p.m. at the latest. Goes without saying that giving yourself one hour before bedtime to wind down by turning off phones, computers, TV and other screens by 10 p.m. will also help. My phone has a bedtime setting that shuts calls and activities down at a predetermined time.

The loss of that commute alone can also be an opportunity for you to rest better than ever, helping you become more productive while also boosting your mood and immune system.

WORK

My new work from home schedule is still shaky but I’m keen to maximise my productivity, hence my Outlook diary is filled with colour coded reminders on day to day tasks that would normally be second nature. The experts say it helps to keep the surrounding activities as similar as possible too. E.g. if you walk to and from work or public transport, take a walk around the neighborhood to mimic that habit. If you lunch with a coworker, eat lunch with them via a video call. Why? Because our mind already has deeply embedded patterns, keeping the same schedule allows us to take advantage of already established ways of doing things.

CHILDCARE

Working from home with kids underfoot? Yep, goes without saying a new schedule will be needed for both yourself and your family. Parenting friends say their kids thrive on structure, so developing routines similar to the ones they are used to at school and at daycare will help prevent behavioral issues and promote harmony at home. They say that managing this by setting aside specific times for meals, physical activity, learning, and play helps.

If the kids are old enough to take care of themselves, work with them on a schedule that will make the best use of their time. E.g. If they love their sports, help them come up with a strength and conditioning plan. If they have academic pursuits or hobbies, help them brainstorm ways they can still learn and grow, despite them being kept from their normal activities. For younger babes, organising childcare into shifts that work for both. If unable to split shifts, they are making the most of time before the kids wake, during nap times, or after they go to bed, keeping the less challenging work for when they’re up and about.

EXERCISE

Fitting in physical activity can be easier thanks to the loss of commute times, however, our typical routines are usually built around access to gyms, studios, and pools, most now either barred or shut down. No couch potatoing here thanks to YouTube videos, strength-training with the lentil cans or free weights and daily walks outdoors. Even if unable to practice with your sports team, you can still work on techniques, like kicking a ball or shooting free throws. Another way to handle anxiety, reduce stress and sleep well.

RECHARGE

This one’s essential. Why not replace time spent on social media or watching the news with something that generates true relaxation. It could be exercise, praying, reading, listening to music, spending time with your family, or doing a creative hobby. Mine includes researching 54 ways with Lentils and cooking with my loved one, having deeper conversations and we are both working on exercising mindfulness and giving meditation a go, all wonderful ways of managing these stressful times.

We may not know what the future holds but by giving ourselves a schedule we can still make the most of the present. In fact, I’m off to indulge in a spot of meditation now.

Killing small talk…

Unseasonably warm isn’t it?  

Hello, lovelies. Christmas. I personally love it. Particularly the ‘we simply must have drinks before Christmas darling!’ spike in my calendar of events. But not everyone enjoys the socialising aspect of the festive season. “All that bloody small talk, I never know what to say, particularly at the office Xmas party where I feel obliged to talk to people I don’t even know!” cried one particularly distressed friend. I said gurl, I have just the thing for you and sent a link to this post, originally published in 2018.  Her response? “Babe you may have just saved my liver for I can now substitute gulping confidence-building alcohol with great conversation!” (love that reader!!) For all of you suffering the same fate – here’s a repost:

Ever found yourself plunged into the realm of small talk and struggling to come up with something more interesting than the weather? Stared at a dating site pondering witty/clever/  sophisticated questions to ask an interested party?  A co-worker in an elevator, an acquaintance at an industry event, a complete stranger at a networking event? It happens to us all. ‘Yes, it is unseasonably warm for this time of year isn’t it?’ Boring.

Let’s kill the small talk!

If you’ve found yourself talking about topics you have no interest in or have already discussed one too many times—just for something to say, check out this great little article by Aja Frost (making small talk so much easier). After reviewing, I started throwing a few out there and along the way, managed to learn fabulous things about people that I’d never have picked up in ‘normal’ conversation. No more awkward silences or boring small talk folks! Here’s a starter kit of unexpected, thought-provoking questions that will evoke more than a mere yes or no response. And there’s something for everyone!

For the culture cravers…

  1. Are you reading any good books right now? How about shows? What would you recommend?
  2. Do you have any podcast suggestions for my commute?
  3. What’s the last movie that made you cry? Or laugh aloud?
  4. Whom would you want to be your Amazing Race partner?
  5. If they made a movie about you, which movie star would you choose to play you? Your family members? Why?

 For the foodies…

  1. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  2. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
  3. What’s your go-to comfort food? Or the food your Mum always made for you on your birthday?
  4. Does your family have any “secret” or famous recipes?
  5. What’s your favourite restaurant that other people might not know about

For late-night reveries…

  1. If you were in charge of picking the eighth wonder of the world, what would you choose?
  2. What do you wish you had placed in a time capsule 15 years ago?
  3. What’s the strangest compliment you’ve ever received?
  4. Have you ever thought of a cool invention or company, only to discover someone had already invented or started it?
  5. What would be your ideal superpower?
  6. BONUS Q: If you could invite 5 people, dead or alive, to your dinner party, who would you choose? Why?

For the work buddies…

  1. If you weren’t working here, what would you probably be doing right now?
  2. What’s the craziest thing a boss has ever asked you to do?
  3. Would you rather work four 10-hour days or five eight-hour days?
  4. If you were guaranteed to be successful, what job would you want?
  5. What’s the best career advice you’ve ever received? How about the worst?

 For the travel-hungry…

  1. If you could fly anywhere for free, where would you go?
  2. What’s the coolest road trip you’ve ever been on?
  3. Where’s the last place you traveled? What did you do there?
  4. If you could take a workcation or sabbatical, where would you go and what would you do?
  5. What’s your favourite thing to do around here on the weekends?

For the daters…

  1. What did you think you were going to be when you grew up?
  2. Do you have any hidden talents or surprising hobbies?
  3. What was the must-have accessory or item when you were growing up?
  4. What’s the most unbelievable thing that’s ever happened to you?
  5. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Bet just asking one or two of these questions and you’ll be engaged for hours. Best order another wine (sorry liver)!

What questions do you like to ask to jumpstart a cool discussion?

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