Oh look! A chook!

Chook! ‘Pollo’! Freshly roasting chicken…I could smell them. Started salivating, followed the nose and there they were! And there too, in front of the van selling chickens directly off the rotisserie, were 17 Italian mamas also hell bent on claiming ‘Pollos’. Not just one, whole rotisserie forks full! And that when the trouble started.

It was ugly. Hair flew! Kids scattered. Tourists dropped their Zeppoles (donut holes). Dogs leapt up and down in the dust adding excited yapping to the cacophony of screeching Italian fishwives and, like a conductor with baton in hand enticing the best from the brass section, the chook cooker waved his empty rotisserie fork. Empty!

Took some time for the scrum to settle as the scowling women, clutching just two chooks each to their heaving breasts, dispersed into the normally peaceful Thursday markets. But why the kerfuffle?

Well it seems cooked chook isn’t as common as an Aussie barbie ‘Coles drive by’ in this neck of the woods. The ‘supermercatos’ don’t stock them and the lone village butcher takes orders a week in advance then delivers the little gems into hands waving tickets on Sunday morning between 10 am and 1pm. I learnt this the hard way. No order, no Pollo. Hmmph!

Today I scored! And you know what? That poor bird had not given up the fight without a serious battle of her own. Small, tough and coated in a golden roasted skin. Actually she reminded me of…

Meanwhile, a lovely collage of fishing nets I found piled in a little corner of the village.

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Pink Dinosaurs and Grappa…

20130716-141042.jpgHave I told you about my little nest? My abode? The one I sacrificed my first born to rent? Eh! eh! And you thought Port Macquarie Holiday Inn was a tad on the dodgy?

First up, shan’t be inviting ‘y’all over for Spag Bol and Grappa as you simply wont fit. Heck even I don’t fit! You’d likely refuse my offer anyway in fear of premature heart attack from climbing the 179 steps to get here, ‘specially with the carton of wine you’d be obliged to bring. Heck even I’m exhausted by the time I get to the 9th.

 

If per chan20130716-141059.jpgce you persevered you’d be sleeping in the bathtub for there’s only one bed, a permanently folded out sofa protruding from under thewardrobe cupboards. And it’s mine. I’ve grown quite fond of my bed…and the bedspread. It closely resembles a green and orange checked picnic blanket and is complimented with matching lime sheets the texture of table cloths. Thread count? Let’s just say, exfoliation while you sleep.

Certainly can’t hang your cloths sport because you wouldn’t reach. Even Harlem Globe Trotters wouldn’t reach. That’s what the peach pincher’s for. To hook stuff down and back up.

I might let you admire my shower curtain though.The cartoon pink, green and blue dinosaurs frolicking on beaches, some scarfing watermelon, others supping tequila sunrises, the babies building wonky sand sand castles. Heck even I’ve grown fond of it. Specially when it sticks to my butt. Makes me temporarily forget the dank odor emanating from under the sink. And the conniving bidet.20130716-141143.jpg

And you’re definitely not borrowing my splendid lime green waffle weave hoodie bath robe. Yes Hoodie! The piece de resistance and on which I grade all hotels. No robe? Zero stars.

I give this place 4 though. You know why? ‘Cos its terrace has the most breathtaking view down over the village and across the ocean…infinity and beyond. Plus a free supply of lemons to keep the G&T topped up. Oh! That’s right you won’t fit. Shame. Pour another will you Jeeves? (He lives next door you understand)

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Fabio, Umberto and ‘Cozze’…hell yeah!

Fabio called! No, not the flowing mane, Mills and Boon, goose whacked one. I’m talking Umberto’s son; tasked with the job of interpreting Umberto’s invitation to join them for dinner after a spot of sight seeing La Spezia’s best.

Quick brush up, onto train and 30 mins later I’m hurtling down narrow streets, being introduced to folk via the tiny Fiat’s windows and being given a running commentary on important buildings, churches and monuments…in splendid Italian for Umberto speaks not a word of English remember? (Fabio, where for art thou?)

20130713-143007.jpgI grasp enough to respond with ‘massiccia!’ (massive) as we drive up and around Italy’s main military and commercial harbor which hosts the arsenal of the Italian Navy, ‘mozzafiato! (breathtaking) while hugging the coastline affording spectacular views of warships, yachts and mussel beds and ‘e cosi bella!’ as we slip down into Porto Venere.

Pretty indeed! Porto Venere is a little town and commune which comprises the three villages of Fezzano, Le Grazie and Porto Venere, and the three islands of Palmaria, Tino and Tinetto. Also a World Heritage Site as are the villages of the Cinque Terra.

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20130713-142914.jpg It’s dusk and the many little bars and restaurants are beginning to fill with sunkissed tourists as we run by up a rocky promontory at the end of a series of old fortifications to the San Pietro church.

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The church blends into its environment, is small and somewhat forlorn but the aspect is ‘assolutamente spettacolare!’ (spectacular). It sits atop rugged cliffs that end in tiny beaches surrounded by an impossibly blue sea and above which towers the remains of the massive old Portovenere castle. Click, click…will photos do justice?

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A wander back through the village then break neck speed back to La Spezia in time to join Fabio and Annagarsia, Umberto’s lovely wife and indulge in huge buckets of ‘Cozze‘ and spaghetti at the Festival of the Mussel. Seems there’s a festival for everything culinary, can’t wait for the Gelato one!

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Fabio? Beautiful person, a relief to converse in English and to have him share my appreciation for their warm hospitality. Given we have another of these gigs planned late July, will be returning the hospitality when Fabio hits our Aussie shores; now that he feels a tad more assured that when they’re choosing Surfers, sharks are actually quite discerning.

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