journalling

Ripping up paper the right way…

Hi, there lovely readers. Introspection. I suspect we’ve all been indulging in this of late – examining our thoughts and feelings as we reconcile with COVID-19. For me, exploring my own company one week, my loved one’s the next as I flit between two homes; work kit in one box, temperament in another. No children involved. I can’t begin to imagine what life’s been like for those who’ve been juggling partners and kids 24/7. Make or break, survive, thrive or implode. How many words expressed that were better left unsaid?

For the most part, expressing ourselves is vital, for effective communication with family, friends, and work colleagues is critical for healthy, harmonious relationships. There are also times where suppressing them is even more critical. We pat our selves on the back for being so disciplined as we keep those thought bubbles intact yet all that pent up emotion can have disastrous emotional consequences. So how can we let those thought bubbles burst without potential blowback? Journalling my lovely friends. Journalling.

"There are no accusations with writing, no judgment, no shame, only freedom "
(Jessica Sorensen)

Psychologists, sport and otherwise, recommend writing for it’s an effective way to check in with our thoughts, feelings and emotions, positive, negative, or otherwise. An opportunity to process the noise in our heads and allow the subconscious to have a voice. Just enjoying the physical act of putting pen to paper can be a panacea for the soul. No surprises then, that paper journals have been enjoying a resurgence of late. They’re considered the new ‘mindfulness’ app, as evidenced by the volume of beautiful paper journals currently on the market. That said, for those planning to explore the beauty of journaling, opening to that first crisp white page can be quite daunting. What to write?

How to acknowledge thoughts through words and drawings

Keen to totally immerse yourself in the moment as you take your favourite pen to your brand new paper? Why not start by engaging all the senses? It’s simple. First up, create five columns. Now head them up with ‘Smell’, ‘Touch’, Taste’, ‘See’, and ‘Hear’ (or descriptors that personally resonate for you). Now jot down all the fragrances that appeal to you in the ‘Smell’ column. Roast lamb, roses, the ocean, mown grass, wet cats, forest floors – whatever your bliss, jot them all down. Repeat for the remainder. Oh! And be sure to surround yourself with at least one from each list daily – a great way to reconnect with the simple joys of life.

Dealing with a difficult person or situation? Or someone who elicits strong positive or negative emotions but to whom you might find it difficult, if not impossible, to talk to in real life? Let those thoughts and feelings bleed onto your paper. Don’t judge, criticise, or censor your thoughts or pay any attention to spelling, grammar, or tidiness, just let the words flow. Don’t lift the pen, simply keep those emotions flowing. Ahhh… now doesn’t that feel good?

Trying to reconcile with past experiences? Journalling by way of a letter to a person with whom you may have had, or still have, a challenging relationship issue, can also be helpful. It won’t be posted, but it may help you make peace with yourself.

Hampered by creative block? Doodling, sketching to visualise ideas, jotting down keywords, end goals, plotting thoughts all have the potential to unblock. Take a peek at Visual Journalling on Pinterest for inspiration.

Struggling to find grounding? When life seems to have thrown a particularly wicked curveball your way, a gratitude journal is a great way to remind yourself of the positives in your life. It may be as simple as ‘I made someone smile today’, ‘I’m healthy’. ‘I have a roof over my head’. ‘Had a lovely walk this eve’, ‘Enjoyed time with my friend’, had the best almond milk chai latte. A great way to lift your spirit when feeling low.

A bundle of worries cluttering the mind? Write them all down, review, and identify those you don’t have any control over. No draw a firm line through them and contract with yourself to never revisit them. Now jot two things you’ll do to address those you can control on a new page. Voila, your subconscious has something positive to work on while your sleeping. Speaking of sleep…

Counting sheep to find sleep? Experts say we should grab that journal and write the minute we wake, 200 words plus as we release a stream of consciousness in preparation for the coming day. Doing the same last thing in the eve is known to help clear the mind from what I call the ‘chattering monkeys’, instilling a sense of calm as we cruise into sleep. Good night 🙂

Oh! The Mighty Word…

Hello there lovely readers, now, given the blog’s focus this year has been on enhancing your wellbeing, As a career management expert, a great deal of my work involves helping individuals experiencing role redundancy to successfully transition to their next job. Identifying what they offer, what they need in return, what that next move looks like, where those opportunities lie; developing effective marketing resources, a sound job search and networking strategy, a campaign plan and finally, the confidence to keep the butterflies in formation sufficiently to interview, negotiate and land that next job. Thing is, none of this can take shape unless the individual is in the right frame of mind to begin with.

How we deal with redundancy depends on a number of factors. Age, our family, lifestyle and financial situations, past experiences, our natural disposition when handling change or upheaval – each playing a part in how effectively we cope with such momentous events. Emotions we deal with might include shock, anger, denial, worry, resistance, possible depression, acceptance, exploration and eventually, a new beginning. Thing is we don’t stop methodically at each station. Wouldn’t it be so much more convenient if we could just exclaim – ‘Shhh! Don’t disturb me for this is my worry day, hand me my worry beads, a glass of wine, a very big one please, then bugger off!’ Nope! It’s human nature to ricochet back and forth thanks to our emotional state on the day.

imageFor some experiencing redundancy it’s ‘Yea! I’ve just wheeled out a barrow full of payout money from that fantastic job where they simply couldn’t afford to keep me anymore, a nice reward for my services – now where would I like to work next?’ For others it’s ‘Oh my god, I’m taking the kids out of university, selling the house, moving in with the mother in law, downsizing the car, calling Centrelink!’ And on the rare occasion, ‘I’m taking ’em to court for unfair dismissal, after all the years I’ve served them, this is how they repay me! Well they won’t survive without me I can tell you, the place will go to hell in a basket!’ Whoa! Manage your ‘brand’ there fella! Yes, we each have our own processing mechanisms, but let’s look at the situation objectively…

For those beyond coping, immediate referral to their company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and/or a counsellor or psychologist becomes a must for I would never assume to step into the specialist’s shoes. For others, simply implementing a myriad of coping mechanisms to help process, digest and assess before moving on to new beginnings will be sufficient. Surrounding one’s self with supportive family and friends, scripting those yet to grasp the situation; hobbies, health kicks, a long deserved holiday, tackling long overdue house renovations, clearing house clutter, job search planning and preparation to name a few. Trust me, I’ve been there twice and implementing a number of these certainly helped. But the one thing that particularly stood out for me, and continues to do so whenever life throws curveballs, is Journalling.

Journalling? Wait! Did I just hear a collective sigh?

Hey that’s ok for journalling is not for everybody.  But for many, a chance to clear the head of the day’s clutter, make sense of those swirling emotions, negative thoughts and self depreciating checklists. When I find myself feeling overwhelmed and needing to shut the chattering monkeys down sufficiently to sleep well, I reach for my journal. It just works.

Whether dealing with job lotravel-journal-luigi-azivino-ilmungo-43496328-flickr-ccbyncsa2 copyss or simply needing to process excessive brain activity and restore calm, it’s no surprise that journaling has re-emerged as a valuable tool for managing your personal carriage on the roller-coaster of this fast paced world. I don’t believe journals/diaries ever left, just that we’ve become too busy to use them…oh the irony! Take a look at a Kikki K catalog these days and you’ll see an evident resurgence – ‘A Sentence a Day Journal’; ‘100 Dreams Journal’ ‘Goals Journal’, ‘Words to Inspire Journal’, ‘Happiness Journal’, ‘Gratitude Journal’, ‘365 Journal’ – the list goes on.

Ok! So you’ve decided to give it a go. You’ve purchased your smart looking journal and you’re now wondering what the hell you’re meant to do with it?

Here’s a start – before turning the lights out, open your journal and put your favourite pen to the paper. Now write the first thing that comes into your head…a thought, a feeling, an emotion, a good thing that happened, a bad one, people you interacted with, a memorable snippet of conversation, a quote you liked, something you learnt…doesn’t matter what you write, just write. Now here comes the liberating part.

If you are feeling troubled, write down all the contributing factors. Yes, list them. Every single one of them, big or small. All of ’em! Now review each point and ask yourself ‘Is there anything I can do about this one?’ If the answer is ‘nope it’s beyond my control’ – your job being made redundant for instance – cross it off the list. Grant yourself permission to put a big line through it! Repeat with each point until you are left with only those you can control. Now remind yourself that you will never waste another moment of your valuable energy dwelling on those that fell on the cutting floor.

If worry is your middle name, why not take a leaf from Dale Carnegie’s perennial book ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’ and think to yourself – what is the absolute worst that could possibly happen, yes, the absolute worst…then ask yourself how likely is that to ac20131129-201201tually occur? Work back from there on steps you would take to avoid that happening in the first place and suddenly, what might have felt insurmountable just lost it’s spotlight for you are already planning ahead. Which leads to the good part!

Look at the remaining points and think of just one action you will take to address each one, one by one. Just one action (baby steps) per point. Once done, take just three action steps (remember, baby steps) you can readily implement tomorrow and write them on a fresh page. Now commit yourself to addressing these when you wake.

Oh! And before you close that journal, just one more thing!

Write down ‘just one thing’ you were grateful for today. A roof over your head, a lovely chat with a friend, the joy of your child’s laughter, your partner’s embrace, the dog’s unwavering loyalty, the food on your table, nice weather… you get the gist. If all else fails, might I suggest  a thought for the many who are so much more worse off in our war torn world. And now for the best part of this journey…

Soon you’ll be writing more and more positives and a whole lot less negatives. That false bravado will move from ‘fakin’ it to makin’ it’ and the next exciting chapter of your life will start to unfold. During the journey your journal may move on to become your constant companion, or it may just emerge for troubling occasions, it doesn’t matter. Mine? It continues to serve as a gratitude journal. Cue collective sigh…why not give it a go?

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NB: Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), Counsellors and Psychologists are invaluable support mechanisms, don’t be afraid to seek their guidance. For immediate need reach out to BeyondBlue (24 hrs a day, 7 days a week) 1300 22 4636.

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