Hi lovely readers! Confidence! Do you have it, do I have it? There were once times when I found myself wanting to stay under the Doona rather than deliver new workshop content to an unknown audience. Fighting the urge to sneak off to the foyer with an ‘urgent call’ excuse rather than mingle at networking events. Tempted to feign a foreign disease illness when the boss’s, boss’s boss arrived in town – get the picture? Yeah! I’m talking confidence, that vital ingredient that helps us go about our business with panache sprinkled with a spot of je ne sais quai.
Confidence – the stuff that gets us performing in front of that audience, engaging in networking conversations, sharing thoughts with the company’s key players. If you’re facing a big week and needing a little confidence boost of your own, here’s my top 10 boosts…each one personally test-driven by your’s truly. And for the already uber-cool amongst us – a refresher. Read on…
Nothing makes you feel better than looking in the mirror and liking what you see. My clothing ranges from super casual to evening glam but I tend to gravitate to the same few items that always make me feel on point. Choose outfits that flatter the body (passing the 360-degree mirror critique), make your face glow (colours that flatter the complexion) and pass the comfort test (can survive the fire drill). Grooming too. Hair, makeup, manicure, polished shoes, you get the gist. Here are a few hints from Lily Herman – The Muse – on how to spruce up your style
2. Prepare, prepare, prepare
Feeling unprepared can really mess with your confidence. When delivering new programs to an unknown audience I review materials late into the night, picture every learning scenario, develop run sheets and build activities into content to preoccupy the audience while I grasp the next step. Everything I can do to deliver with confidence. It certainly helps for I’m usually invited back. Build time into your calendar to prepare. Consider that time your reputation saver.
3. Fake it ’till you make it
Man, I love this one! Networking, walking into a party full of strangers, public speaking (see point 2) – don a sincere smile, give a firm handshake, introduce yourself using a carefully crafted 30-second commercial (this is who I am, this is what I do, this is why I’m here), be armed with a few intelligent questions to get people around you chatting and after a while, you realise you’re no longer faking it. Here’s some great advice from Avery Augustine – The Muse, about the times when you really should fake it until you make it.
4. Surround yourself with positivity
I had a candidate recently who applied for another internal role in her company rather than take the offered redundancy. Her interviewer, the man who would also be her potential boss told her she didn’t get the job for she ‘interviewed terribly’, then smugly offered to groom her interview techniques for a job elsewhere. That single experience shattering my confident, self-assured candidate’s confidence. Would you want to work with someone as toxic as that? Surrounded by people who pull you down instead of lift you up, run! Replace them with positive people who notice your good attributes and give you great vibes.
New to the city? Lily Herman – The Muse can show you how to build an incredible network from scratch. Wanting to build your friendship circle? Join one of the many ‘MeetUp’ groups in your locale, or one or two clubs, or participate in a little Community Service.
5. Participate in Community Service
Those who volunteer have been known to feel better about themselves than those who don’t. Joy can be infectious. It may be as simple as reading or running errands for an elderly neighbour, pitching in at the local soup kitchen, volunteering for door knock appeals. Rebecca Andruszka – The Muse gives you a heads up on volunteerism.
6. Correct a habit
Addicted to your phone? Swapping sleep for Netflix marathons? Insisting you don’t have time for exercise? Knowing it takes 90 days to change a habit, I challenged myself this new year to rise just 30 minutes earlier than I normally do and use the stillness of early morn to swim, write, walk or grab a Yoga class. Just 45 days in and I’m already loving the extra time so much I’ve added an extra half hour (god forbid!). Changing one small habit will make you feel great, show you what is possible and lead to bigger changes. More positive changes equal more confidence! Kat Moon shares some of the habits you can fix quickly.
7. Get moving
Research says exercise is directly related to happiness. On hot days, I get the biggest buzz from hitting the swimming pool for a few laps, particularly luscious after a Hot Yoga class I must say. You can gain a sense of control by just getting up and moving. Needing a buddy to kick start your action? Find one willing to commit with you and you won’t want to let your buddy down by not showing up. Just 90 days (see point 6) and before you know it, the routine is second nature. Still too busy? Sara Chang – The Muse gives you a heads up on how you can even get moving at the office.
8. Learn something new
When I was a trainer, I had to absorb the content of every subject I was contracted to facilitate in order to have a modicum of confidence when delivering. Talk about a brain fry! The upside? I vicariously earned Certificate IV or Diplomas in Front Line, Business, Office and HR Management, psychometric testing, leader coaching, stress management, change management and more. When tasked with delivering computer training for a bunch of folk I laughed (rather hysterically for I had taught myself how to use one) then loaded up with Points 1, 2 and 3 and ended up learning just as much from my audience as they did me.
Feel like your behind at work? Concerned about your parenting? Struggling with social media? Be proactive and take a class. Just the act of doing something about it can make you feel better.
Consider MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) where you’ll pick up some of the best free learning from Universities the world over. For folk in their later years, there’s the U3A – University of the Third Age.
9. Clean up
I’m one of those irritating people who doesn’t work well in chaos and tidying my surrounds is my procrastination before finally getting stuck into a project. Organizing your workspace or house can provide a sense of control that many with low self-esteem lack. It can also help you find things more easily, leading to feeling better in the future.
Here’s the messy person’s guide to staying organized thank’s to Emma Siemasko – The Muse. And if you’re really, really wanting to make a difference, try Marie Kondo’s best selling The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying
10. Focus on the positive
One of my lovely friends shares a positive affirmation every morning on Facebook and each message always seems to boost my step. We so often focus on the negative – things we feel we are not good at instead of focusing on those we are. I ask my candidates to think of all the times they’ve made a difference in life or at work, no matter how small – what were they dealing with at the time? How did they address it? What did the outcome look like? Writing down all the wonderful things we’ve achieved is a great way to showcase our strengths and remind us of just how clever and capable we are. Perfect for swapping out that negative self talk with the positive.
So many self-help books out there but a few that I love – if not for the title alone include:
- The Life-Changing Magic of not Giving a F*uck. by Sarah Knight – how to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do.
- How to Have a Good Day by Caroline Webb – think bigger, feel better and transform your working life
- This is Happening by Rohan Gunatillake – redesigning mindfulness for our very modern lives
When all else fails, check out Bill Murphy Jr. of Inc’s suggestions When the going gets tough – 10 smart moves.
