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Lift her spirits…

 Well hello there lovely readers, how are you coping as the world continues to grapple with these extraordinary times? I’m loving the more relaxed pace of working from home and, when not hanging out with the silver fox, am perfectly comfortable with my own company. Not everyone feels the same. If you have a friend who might be struggling during these times, I’m resharing a post filled with handy ideas that may just lift his/her spirits. Some of them easy depending on the level of isolation, others to be popped in the back pocket, and delivered when restrictions ease. 

1 Create a Playlist

Some time ago a darling friend of mine lost her battle against cancer, but not before putting up an epic battle, supported by a compilation of songs ranging from angry kick-ass anthems to meaningful, laid-back ballads. Garnering suggestions from her friends, my little double CD (pre-Spotify) touched her in ways words couldn’t. Putting your thoughts into words is tough so why not say it with a meaningful song, or better yet, a thoughtful playlist? Easy to create on Spotify or your preferred music service and the link shared. It can be angry, cheerful, or nostalgic — whatever your bud needs to get her through a tough time.

2 Send a handwritten letter 

The art of physical writing has been making a big come back! If words come easily, why not select a batch of looseleaf paper or beautiful stationery and jot those thoughts down? The important thing is that it puts a smile on your friend’s face and lets her know you’re thinking of her.

3 Drop a “Flower Bomb”  

One bouquet of flowers is sweet, filling your friend’s living room with more beautiful blooms than she can count is awesome. Search for wholesale flower markets in your neighbourhood and grab big bunches of her favourite blooms (securing support from fellow buddies if the costs are beyond budget) then see if you can sneak in and bombard her living space with vessels full of blooms.

4 Create a photo book

A friend of mine unexpectedly lost her dog a few years ago and another friend of ours put together a sweet photo book for her, filled with pictures of her with her fur baby. Such a simple and special way to help her through the situation and she loved it.

5 Have a staycation together 

Depending on your restrictions, grab her fave takeout, magazines, pamper kit including nail care and cosmetic face masks, a snazzy set of jimjams rock up to her door, and declare you’ve no intention of leaving anytime soon. She’ll be so glad to have someone to kick back and relax with.

6 Help out with chores and errands  

A load of laundry, a supermarket run, or just tidying up around the house can offer a lot of relief to someone who’s depressed, grieving, or generally feeling overwhelmed. She may not express it overtly, but I suspect she’ll be eternally grateful.

7 Deliver a home-cooked meal

If time prevents the opportunity to help out in the home, why not put your love for your friend into a hearty meal that’ll nourish her body and soul? Push to shove, show up with her favourite takeout, and treat her to a lounge floor picnic.

8 Surprise her with an outing 

You know she’s likely to say she’d rather stay in, however, an impromptu movie, walk in the park, picnic or dinner date might be exactly what the doctor ordered. Show up at her door and don’t take no for an answer!

9 Book a day spa for two

Soother her soul with a mani, a pedi, facial, massage – whatever takes her fancy – after all, who doesn’t love a spot of pampering in a calming environment while sipping a virtuous green tea followed by champagne, tiny cucumber sandwiches, and chocolate-dipped strawberries?

10 Pick up the phone 

I know this is obvious, yet in a world of “likes” and emojis, it feels like we’ve forgotten how much more intimate it is to make a phone call. Hearing your voice and getting carried away in a 30-minute conversation can make all the difference in the world to someone who’s down in the dumps.

Oh! And a word of note. If your bud has lost a particularly close loved one, make a note to call or be with her 30 days after her loss. It’s likely her family, friends, and support will have returned to their own lives at that time and, according to research, this is the time she will need you the most. Works equally well for both boy and girl buddies.

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Sheltering from media sensationalism…

Hello, lovely readers – first up, how are you? Safe and well and settling into this new self-isolating way of life? My heart is with you all.

Like most of you, I’m now working from home, currently from the dining table of the lovely Silver-Fox’s apartment on the coast. Surrounded by work-related detritus, headphones in; my work pivoting to 100% virtual delivery within weeks of the COVID-19 alert. Semi-retired, the poor man feels the need to vacate his own home to give me video conferencing privacy. This is the new norm. Similar stories the world over as we settle into partner, children, pet co-oping.

Until recently, I had been observing how humanity went about managing the physical, mental and emotional elements of social isolation with relative dispassion. No kids or pets to consider, comfortable with my own company, healthy, cared for, life looking easy compared to so many out there battling the ramifications of the pandemic. Then last Sunday I awoke in a miserable ‘we’re all going to hell in a basket’ mood, no doubt thanks to an overdose of media sensationalism. Fuelled with a mental bitch slap, a cuppa tea, and a compassionate conversation with the Fox, it was then that we made a pact – to focus only on the positive. Here’s where I started:

Finding calm in an ocean of uncertainty…

That view of the Gold Coast skyline from my work station. – ocean to the left, a canal below and Harbour Town, the Dublin Docks Pub and Dan Murphys in the foreground. The once packed car-parks now empty, except for Dan’s. Dan’s still making a roaring, albeit socially distanced, trade. God bless Dan!

The new commute – bathroom, kitchen, work station. – the rush hour replaced with a leisurely breakfast, work-suitable tops over leisure-wear bottoms, and bottomless cups of tea.

Seeing the faces of the entire national team on video conferences. The intimacy of working with colleagues in their personal spaces, meeting their pets, children, partners, parents, learning of their favourite tipples during virtual Friday happy hour drinkies. More connected than ever, despite the real world ‘disconnect’.

Gaining a deeper understanding of my team’s personalities outside the work-place environment. The socialite, grappling with solo living and an anxious dog. The single dad, coaching his sensitive teens on the differences between fact and sensationalist reporting. A husband in lock-down in another country, another in another state with borders closed. A young mum, building a work routine around two little people demanding 24/7 parental attention.

Long evening walks on the wide semi-empty beaches while savoring deep conversations, gulping the crisp ocean scented air, attuned to the cry of the seagulls, the feel of sand between toes, warm ocean ripples tickling the ankles.

Perfecting the putt on the St Andrews Golf Course – aka the mini Putt-Putt assembled along the lounge floor. The 19th hole bar, aka the fridge beer offer. Assembling the Wii – released from hibernation, dusted off and ready to provide some old fashion exercise and even more amusement.

Actively seeking out good news stories, kind words, good deeds – humanity at it’s best. Marveling at the Venetian canals, now so translucent, you can see fish thanks to the cessation of water traffic. The air clear above China. The social media shared positive images, good news stories, hints, and tips for home-schooling kids. The Mum teaching her grade two kid the grade four curriculum, the result of an accidental download. Folk having virtual parties, work teams showing up in crazy outfits.

Not to mention, a kindle loaded with books, iPhone with calming, meditational apps and Spotify sound-tracks, a fridge full of healthy food, oh! and enough loo-rolls to last another two weeks. As well, a considerable interest in what our world might look like post-pandemic.

Stay tuned for the next blog which will feature a round-up of people’s book, movie, Netflix marathon recommendations, apps and everything calming I can think of.
Meanwhile, drop a line in the comments box to share your coping ideas.
Stay safe lovely people. x

Positively sparkling with positivity…

Hi there lovely readers! As you’ve started to identify, I’ve declared this the year of positivity. Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking – yet another of those pony tailed Yogi’s winsome ruminations on how to make the world a better place, regurgitated by Jane? Nah! Richard Branson actually.  

Have you noticed that the world’s biggest influencers and most successful people tend to be positive people? They usually see endless possibilities and empower others to feel the same, and, in turn, they actively create the ripple, the wave, the tsunami that moves the world forward.

Richard Branson penned and shared a great little piece (LinkedIn – Jan 2018) on positivity attitudes-are-contagious-yours-worth-catching the focus being on how positivity can breed positivity and how, by simply asking a question in a positive manner, we are more likely to generate a more positive response. 

Branson’s example: “We launched our three airlines Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Australia and Virgin America to provide consumers with better alternatives to existing options. But we didn’t do so by asking “Are you sick of the competition?” Instead, we asked, “Are you ready for the future of air travel?” Rather than focusing on everything that our competitors weren’t doing, or were doing poorly, we highlighted our unique offering and asked potential customers what it is they loved and looked forward to about flying.”

As Branson says, positive thinking is an incredibly powerful tool. Simply put: positive, proactive behaviour spurs positive, proactive behaviour. Let me give you an example:

Years ago I worked in a seriously toxic environment where, to have a good day, I had to consciously make it a good day. Ever the optimist I hoped that, by focusing on demonstrating positive, proactive behaviour at all times, I might just ignite similar behaviour. As Winston Churchill once said:

“The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” 

 Damn it was tough, ‘fake it ’till you make it’ was often my mantra yet looking back, I’d found myself channelling a spot of Winston with a focus on:

  • wearing a smile at all times (incensing one fellow employee enough to spit ‘christ your always so fucking happy Jane, you make me sick!’ – she didn’t do mornings well)
  • surrounding myself with the more positive folk (who ended up forming a fabulous network that remains in my life today)
  • approaching challenges and problems in a proactive ‘can do’ manner (to keep the tyrannical leader at a distance)
  • phrasing my comments and questions to reflect positive outcomes a la Branson  
  • adopting a ‘can do’ attitude (anything to keep the team’s in positive spirits flowing)  

As Branson says – start simple; find a positive slant in every question you ask, display a positive outlook and you will find that people will gravitate towards you, and go out of their way to help you succeed.   

And did I survive? Yes. Did people help me succeed? Indeed. Positivity won out, still does. 

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