During a recent girly chat with friends, conversation turned to current state of happiness compared to the sad, difficult time experienced when my husband and I separated. And later, the grief of his passing and a few who chose to demonstrate their own grief in hurtful ways. Dark moments indeed…and recognition of friendships that never were.
While articulating my response a startling thought occurred… a week, in fact a whole month had gone by without a tear. Tears triggered by a piece of once shared music, the touch of a fleecy sweater, a Dalmatian’s smile, the deathly pallor of a heart disease victim on a TV ad…each tear honoring the deep sense of loss that inevitably results from having shared another’s life for so many years.
Seems I had finally compartmentalized the darkest moments while enshrining the very best, kept alive by each of us whose lives he touched. It seems time really does heal…and with it comes a number of life’s humble lessons…
Hindsight brings a little more wisdom; hurting, a little more compassion, being hurt, a tad more forgiveness; stepping away from an irreparable relationship – fear, uncertainty, empowerment. But the most valuable lesson? Having the courage to open up, reach out, expose vulnerability with trusted friends and family and being rewarded with pure, simple, unconditional love and support. Humbling, warming, healing.
The ‘getting of wisdom’ came in so many guises…an affirmation here, a poem of inspiration there, a tender stroke, a kiss on the temple, a late night teary conversation, a well placed ‘get over yourself!’…yes, it seems I’m a lot less stitched up these days too! Elmo’s ‘joie de vivre’ influence? Recent travels a reminder that we are but a tiny speck on the global stage? Recognition that there are so many out there dealing with situations we can’t even begin to comprehend? A little of all I say…stirred in with a healthy dose of that humbling love…
Thank-you girlies and friends one and all…you know I’ll have your backs when you need me. Hot coals? Test me! This beautiful piece of prose a sum of my thoughts:
The Glory of Friendship
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when
he discovers that someone else believes in him and is
willing to trust him.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
